Hacker's Pride
by sweetlilmenotu
Summary: Jace Herondale has never wanted help from anyone. He'd been completely satisfied with his perfect life. But when his girlfriend reveals that she's been threatened by a sadistic stalker he has to go to Clary Fairchild for help. Watch Clary and Jace as they embark on their ride of obsessive compulsion.
1. Doubt

Streetlight shone on St. Xavier's power couple, illuminating the sharp plains of Kaelie's face and bringing out the hazel in Jace's eyes. Kaelie clenched her fist, the green in her veins showing underneath her pale skin.

"You didn't have to do this."

Jace bit back a snarl. They'd been through this far too many times.

"Because you deserve it?"

Kaelie placed her palms on Jace's shoulders, "We don't have to pretend that I'm anything more than that girl who works at Taki's- pretending is what we do at school."

He smiled at her, that warm beautiful smile that made her forget the cold, the threats and secrets she'd grown accustomed to.

"The Kaelie I know now has greater right to be loved than that fake unrealistic person she is for those dimwits at school."

She traced the intricate design of the charm bracelet he'd given her and knew that she was lucky. Remembering the constant clash of fists and hisses of fury that she'd grown up with, she felt the fear, that had taunted her throughout the course of her miserable life, crawl up her spine. Was he pitying her? Was she nothing more than a sob story to him? As a child she'd taught herself to always question her circumstance, never accept joy in its purest form.

Jace watched the way her emotions shifted on her countenance. He'd been so stupid. Incompetent enough to believe that Kaelie was the carefree bimbo at school, and not realise that it had been the shield she hid moment he'd seen the obvious weight pressing on her shoulders, as she served drunk men on her late shifts at Taki's, his entire perspective on her had changed dramatically. Her act had been thought out precisely- she'd made sure to get a night shift at the café so that any of her friends wouldn't catch her there, even going as far to work from Sundays to Thursdays so that they wouldn't suspect her when she said couldn't attend all their dumb parties. What she hadn't predicted was for Jace to wind up in a huge argument with his father and storm off to drink away his rage, right where she was serving chips to fat hairy dudes.

Kaelie gazed at him, her pulse racing. She wanted to memorise that moment, the blistering cold and the hum of traffic around them. His eyebrows were furrowed , his lips angled into a lopsided grin, "I know I'm gorgeous but stop staring at me you pervert."

This was why she loved him.

She tackled him, her arms wrapped around his waist. He didn't even have time to chuckle like a cliché macho guy as he struggled to overcome his balance. His fingers braced them against a dreaded fall into the sooty New York snow, steady at her waist.

He pressed his lips against her forehead, his hand moving to caress her cold wrists. She really wished she was wearing a thicker jacket. She inhaled the smell of smoke and sweat that surrounded them, dubiously content with it.

Her phone beeped against the pocket of her ripped jeans, she stiffened breaking away from him.

"Baby?"

His voice was a blur that merged into the noise and clutter of the city. All she could hear was his voice, ' _You will never survive me_ '. She could almost the cold menacing tone as she remembered how he'd first threatened her.

Jace stared at his girlfriend in horror, a tremor jolting up his core as he realised how hard her fingers were shaking. He clamped his fingers against her shoulders, keeping his touch as gentle as possible.

She breathed out shakily, as if in a trance.

He shook her, his knuckles whitening. "Kaelie, snap out of it."

She blinked at him, composing herself. He couldn't know, he'd just worry. And she knew for a fact that she wasn't worth worrying over.

"I'm fine," she let out, taking a few steps forward. She had to make sure her stalker didn't see Jace, she couldn't bear endangering him.

"Sweetie, if you think for a second I'll believe that, you don't know shit about Jace Herondale."

He wasn't going to let her go easily, was he?

She gritted her teeth together, as if she was working to stop them from chattering. She would have to make this look as realistic as possible.

"Just don't make fun of me, for this."

"Never."

Kaelie felt the guilt rising up her throat, threatening to overcome her.

"I-It's just really cold out here, I don't think my trembling muscles can take any more winter adorability from you."

Jace stared at her, his face a growing mask of concern. He had taken the bait.

"You should really get a thicker winter clothes."

And so she'd hidden from him, in her very own deceptive fashion.

Happiness always came with a price.

She was going to writhe him alive. She was going to throttle his pale neck and make sure feed his frozen organs to Jonathan's pet snake. She was going to hold a dagger against his reptilian skin, and tear that repulsive smirk off his face. His end would come slowly, just so she could enjoy it.

Her hands clenched the flap of her laptop, her fingers careful not to graze the screen with her vicious fingernails.

"Clary?"

Her mind was on the run, plotting brilliant schemes against Jonathan's greatest zealot.

"Clarissa."

Her skin still hurt from the savage way she had scrubbed at it, leaving a few bruises in her barbaric sterilising. She was going to humiliate that damned bastard.

"Clarissa Adele Morgenstern."

She glared at her her mother, their eyes blazing with an almost equal amount of ferociousness.

"What?"

Jocelyn Fairchild scowled at both her children. It was ironical, how opposite they appeared.

"I was just talking your brother about how he had the audacity to think that I was going to let the two of you to go to that stupid club again. Could you please enlighten me with your attention."

Clary slammed her fist against on their wooden dinner table, "But, Mum-"

Jonathan brought his hands to his neck and pretended to strangle himself. So that probably meant her mother was going to be stubborn about this.

"Clary where did you get the idea that having three piercings on your left-"

"Right," Clary stated. Jonathan nodded in agreement, his fair hair catching the glow of the coloured light around them. Her mother liked to hang up christmas lights earlier than normal people.

"Don't interrupt me," Jocelyn whispered darkly.

Clary rested her arms on the table, realising just how angry her mother was.

"Which mother likes to see her very sensible daughter appear at her doorstep, with two extra piercings in her ear, and smell the satanic fragrance of beer fill the room?"

Clary resisted the urge to ask why her mother had bothered sniffing her.

"And you, Jonathan do you think I was pleased that you decided to show up, with this monstrosity on your shoulder, on the same day?"

Her mother was on a roll today.

"Mum, it's just a tattoo."

Jocelyn glared at him, "Do you call a permanent stain on your skin 'just a tattoo'? Like it's a damned blessing?"

Jonathan pondered over how something could be a damned blessing, yearning to voice his thoughts.

"You're grounded, the two of you. For two months."

Jocelyn laughed like the looks of indignance on her children's faces weren't a treat enough.

Clary huffed and stormed into her room. For the love of God, her brother's tattoo was the size of a pint.

She switched on the Resonance speakers that had taken her a year's savings to buy. She needed to disappear. She craved to forget her existence. It was times like this that she seemed out her haven. Clary turned on her laptop and marvelled at the sound that filled her room. It had been so worth it.

She logged out her 'Muse' account and then typed a few commands for Sebastian's account.

Hacking had been something she that had never acted a something to bring her relief before. She's just perceived it dangerous and a waste of time- like everyone else. After discovering her apparent talent with computers, she'd found out that it wasn't too hard to find loopholes in her friend's favourite sites. Program code had become a perpetual mystery to her and she had taken to decode a few of the mainstream sites. She loved the stealth, the hood of anonymity she'd gained as she rigged deeper into the digital vortex of lies and secrets. She had never revealed anything, not when she had first messed with her brother's Territory account or when she'd hacked into some girl's shitty boyfriend's account after she'd heard the girl complain about it when she was in the school restroom. Somehow, she had turned into some sort of vigilante on the way, passing unsigned notes into the lockers of people who's seemed like they needed help. It was shady business that messed with an individual's privacy but she couldn't help herself.

And now she was going to se this hidden talent of hers to get back at her manipulative boyfriend. Clary Fairchild was not going to break up with Sebastian Morgenstern for using her to get on her brother's good side. The moment she'd overheard Sebastian telling his friend that he was getting some from her, while having a chance at popularity, she had devised her fraudulent plan. She was going to be with him; hack into his precious account, use his unnerved stance to tackle him into a slow end. She'd expose him leisurely, enjoying every inch of worry he would show as she threatened to expose every single one of his dumb secrets. She would bring him to his filthy knees, and then she would reveal that his girlfriend- tiny, screwable Clary Fairchild had brought him down.


	2. Yearn

Kaelie gripped onto Jace's shoulders as they sped through traffic, her blonde hair silvered by the early sun. She closed her eyes, breathed in the familiar smell of filth and smoke that clung to the cluttered alleys that depurated through the city she grown to love and hate. The wind kissed her skin, lulling the bruise on her forearm. Jace grinned, as he swerved through the murky lanes and revved his engine, bringing his motorbike to a stop. He was at his feet in a graceful leap, his golden hair falling on his eyes as he spoke, "It's all yours."

Kaelie scooted over to the front of the vehicle as Jace shimmied onto its rear, pushing her hair away from his face with awkward pushes.

"What?"

"I don't want your hair in my mouth again!"

She let out a half assed chuckle, "Here I go."

Jace hid his face in the nape of her name, as Kaelie accelerated through the city.

"I want to go to school, with all my body parts!" His protests were muted down into murmurs as they travelled through the early New York traffic.

She loved the control, the precision that she had when she steered. She was no longer herself, the pathetic girl who pretended she had everything- when in reality she was even prisoner to her own home. She was the Kaelie she fantasised about, the one who had everyone feeding off her palms.

The moment they arrived at St. Xavier's Jace slunk against her.

She smirked, tiptoeing to whisper into his ear.

"Are you okay sweetie?"

"Oh I'm fine," Jace let out sarcastically.

She broke away from him the moment they heard footsteps approaching.

"Kaelie, bae! You were so freaking hot, that manoeuvre was spot on."

Kaelie didn't have the heart to tell Axel, who'd just started learning about internet 'slang' , that the word 'bae' was actually Danish for poop.

She sighed, remembering that she was at school and that intelligence wasn't awarded too heavily there. She supposed that to have the mundane kids at school to hold some respect her she had to be dumber- to make them feel good enough about themselves to approach her without undue discomfort.

"I learn from the best, don't I, baby?"

Jace hid his wince under an arrogant smirk, though he knew as a fact that his girlfriend had learned all her tricks from her deceased brother.

He kept on the act, by giving Axel a sexist comment on how 'his girl' would never beat him at his own game. 'His girl' like she was some sort of property to him, to keep him entertained. He loathed how Axel was beaming at him, his entire body yearning to leave the scene and meet Alfredo and ramble about the last episode of the 'Arrow'. He grinned at how Kaelie cooed at Axel, telling him how that ride was _exhausting_ and emphasising how she was a _bundle of nerves_ all the way here.

"That seems tough," Axel said, his tone softening.

"Yeah, so tough."

Jace resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"If only I could help you right now."

She'd just rode a motorbike, she didn't have cancer.

"Then, could you-maybe?" Kaelie looked away from him.

Oh she was so good at this.

'What?"

"Get me a drink? Here have some change."

He wanted to burst out laughing.

"Sure sweetheart."

At this Jace glared at Axel Mortmain.

"Thanks! Get Jace one too!"

"Sure, man." With that, Axel scurried away like a preschooler at a candy store.

"Should I be jealous?"

Kaelie laughed at him, rolling her eyes- so peculiar with all its varying hues of blue.

"What for? Everyone buys breakfast."

Jace shook his head, he never understood why she was so obsessed with controlling people. She'd told him once that if they knew who she really was they would pity her and then disassociate with her because they wouldn't know how to act around her. She would definitely go to any lengths to deflect sympathy. By being the real, down to earth girl she was she'd become an pariah in their social circle. Back when their family had been wealthy and she'd been shielded from the truth of the real world, she'd fantasised about popularity and had turned away from her friends to seek out the dumber, more self absorbed crowd- with this she'd trapped herself in yet another prison, despite how much she tried to deny it.

Kaelie smiled at her boyfriend and wrapped her finger around his arm, "Let's go!"

Her stomach grumbled, much to her embarrassment.

Jace placed a chaste kiss onto the corner of her mouth and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She stared at his eyes, her hands loosening round his neck, ready to let go. She felt her cell phone vibrate in her back pocket, her mind suddenly anxious with the idea of a pair of cold eyes boring into her back. Her fingers dug into his shoulder blades, her eyes forced shut. Jace gave her a delicate pat, probably contemplating over how she was probably bat shit crazy. But Kaelie held on tight, till she felt like the eyes fixed onto her back had left to torment her in some other way.

A swarm of students rushed past Clary Fairchild, disinterested of her conniving smile and harmless demeanour. She tucked a strand of vibrant red hair behind her ear, "I'm so sorry for leaving early last night Seb."

Sebastian Verlac leant his head against his locker, his dark eyes twinkling, "I missed you."

Clary was taken aback by the casual way he spoke, every word a silent caress. Realising the way Sebastian lied to her, with effortless ease, she gritted her teeth.

"So have I, man! But the moment Jon hauled my drink ass out of the dance floor, I knew I'd miss the best night ever."

He gave her a conspirator's grin, "He was just being a good brother."

Clary spotted her brother emerging their way and blessed her luck that Sebastian had his back to Jonathan.

She gave him a coy smile, "Aren't you going to be a good boyfriend?"

She swallowed the hurt rising her throat as she recognised a flash of annoyance shift through his features.

Sebastian smiled at her, the ends of his lips pulled into a sloppy excuse for his obvious discomfort. She blinked away the tears building up beneath her eyelids, threatening to swell below them. Did she actually distaste him to that extent? She pushed away her thoughts, wanting to be anything but the prissy school girl, crying over her crush rejecting her.

Sebastian leaned in, his instincts screaming at him to get away. He swallowed away the guilt, deeming his actions obligatory for his purposes.

He thrusted his lips against her delicate mouth, ignoring the small part of him that kept screaming 'This was wrong'. She shouldn't have anything to do within of his problems, but she was the very solution to all of them. He knew he was being selfish, but he needed her- he deserved this break.

Clary wanted to push his repulsive face away from her, to rip his blasted skin. There was no spark that she'd imagined before she knew the truth. There was no love or care interwoven in their display of affection. It was a battle of desire. All Clary lusted for was to see his end and all Sebastian desired was a new beginning. The rage was hard to control and she had to grip the back of his jacket to stop herself from raking her fingernails across his face. She lusted on distant fantasies to murder him and smiled against his chilled lips as she thought about how easy it would be to slit his throat right then.

Jonathan stared at his sister, completely bewildered. She'd never been the sappy type, but he guessed Clary had changed because she seemed to be having tons of fun making out with her boyfriend in the school hallway. He cleared his throat, trying to get her attention, but she simply ignored him, chewing onto Sebastian's lip. He cleared throat a bit louder, startling both her and her boyfriend.

Clary smiled at her brother, enjoying the scandalised look on his face.

"What is it?"

Jonathan looked away from her, rocking on the heels on his sketchers.

Why had Sebastian thought dating her would get him on her brother's good side? If anything Jonathan was awkward to any guy who liked her company. In reality, Sebastian was actually pretty dumb.

"I just want you to hitch a ride from your boyfriend this afternoon- I'm going to Kyle's house."

Jonathan ran off the moment he'd blurted out his huge revelation.

Clary turned to Sebastian, gazing at his stature. She pushed her nails against her palm, she just had to tolerate him for a little while longer, and then she could finish him.

 **(A\N: Hey guys! Thank you for your reviews, follows and favourites. I'm very excited for this story, and all your enthusiasm got me even more manic about it. To all those reading 'Perks of Being Jace' I don't think I can update this month- my cousin's getting married and we're going to be helping her with the preparations this week. With all the hectic drama I don't really think I an update either story this month, please don't think I'm giving up on PoBJ- I have huge plans for this story. As for Hacker's Pride, I have always been interested in the very concept of a stalker and how far obsession can go. I love all of you!**

 **-Nuz**


	3. Suspicion

It took Jonathan a minute to notice the jagged scar running across his sister's wrist, but to his defense he'd been too distracted by the revolting hairdo and attempt at self clothing.

"What on earth happened to you?"

Clary spared him with a glare, her left eyebrow barely showing under the haphazard mess that adorned over three quarters of younger sibling's face.

"Nothing much. Mom."

"I was just reacting in the way a normal human being would to your sloppy train wreck."

His worry didn't show in his face. Jonathan's nature was usually centered in his impudent care for others- a quality that Clary simply detested. Clary was always so inexplicably neat and cautious with everything she owned. Once, when he'd spilled a bottle of some of her fancy paint on then ground, she had sprinted into his room at such an alarming speed that he suspected that she smelt the weird sulfurous smell from the living room where she'd been engaged in a ferocious 'D and D' marathon with her friend, Simon. He didn't even want to remember the time he'd lost her external hard disk. The trauma that the memory conjured proved him a shit load of nightmares.

"What do you know of Sebastian's sister?"

Jonathan whipped his head at the sound of her voice.

"I don't know. She'd been killed by a drunk driver, I think."

For some reason, Clary looked relieved. Her shoulders skunked against her sallow frame and she suddenly looked like the sister he'd grown accustomed to.

"Why? Are you running a background check on your little Romeo?" He couldn't help asking.

Her reply took a moment too long.

"Nah, I just something about her from Jordan."

He stared at her, with that skeptical look that just screamed 'I don't believe you'.

Clary glared at him, once again closed off and viscous.

A loud ring from the doorbell of their apartment, gave them the interruption they craved. Jonathan ran a hand through the tousled lengths of his hair, and gave Clary one last look of disappointment before hurrying towards the door.

Jocelyn Fairchild let out a deranged gasp of rage, the moment he unlatched the locks they'd been ordered to clasp before they nodded off to sleep.

The obnoxious smell of burnt eggs suddenly seemed obviously evident to him. Jonathan eyes zoomed in on the coffee stain on their rug and he could sense every little imperfection ready to tear him apart.

Though his mother eyes remained locked on his sister.

His attention suddenly focused on Jocelyn's alarmed stance and he knew that all he could do was watch, as all hell broke loose.

"Clary." His mother's voice was a deadly calm.

To his surprise, his only sibling rolled her eyes at his mother, who was currently on demon mode. He couldn't risk being the only kid in this family. Jocelyn was overprotective to the point that she'd even tried to keep track on where he was by using a very complex locating technique that required loads of technological knowledge. Jonathan suspected that Clary had been a part of this one, since his mother usually preferred man force with the goodness of sheer embarrassment and also the fact that he'd gotten into a major fight with her that evening. The redheads in his family were terrifying.

"I don't have time for this." Clary moved to return to her room, but stopped herself the moment their mother beckoned him.

"Couldn't you at least have checked if she's eaten anything on my one night off this month."

He didn't dare mention that it was technically one night and a whole day. He like being alive, despite the fact that he always woke up to the sound of traffic and angry drivers screaming at each other like uncivilized barbarians.

Though he doubted a civilized barbarian was any better.

"It wasn't his fault."

Clary had stepped in front of him, though her minimal height did nothing to hide him from Jocelyn. He felt oddly touched anyways.

"I thought you had no time for this."

Clary gritted her teeth and loosened her shoulders, "I do. Okay?"

She didn't wait for her mother to reply.

"I locked myself up in my room for two whole days and told him I'm staying at Simon's. I'm sorry that I lied to you Jonathan."

At this, she really did look sorry.

For a moment he could have sworn that Jocelyn smiled, before she opted back to scowling again.

"So how did you manage to eat during your...hiatus?"

Jonathan stifled a laugh by gritting his teeth.

"My stash." He guessed that the reply had probably sounded better in her head, as she paled the moment the words left her mouth.

"Your stash.." The way their mother managed to scare them was bewildering.

Clary held Jocelyn's stare and for around five minutes it looked like they were having a staring contest.

Jonathan realized they probably were.

He coughed.

His blood relatives continued to imagine strangling each other's throats.

He coughed again.

Until...

"OKAY! I WAS WRONG MOTHER!"

Bingo!

Their mother smiled, and shook her head with amusement. Her children were so easy to control.

"Jonathan?"

"Yes, Mom?"

"Here's some cash, take your sister out for legimate food and clothes plus a decent hairstyle-"

This was way too easy, Clary usually shopped for large hoodies and picked the easiest hairstyles in the book.

"And also a dress for the winter formal."

Clary groaned and was silenced by a conniving glare from Jocelyn.

He knew there had to be a catch. Getting his sister a dress that suited her muted taste and their mother's elegant preference, would take all evening.

"What are you waiting for? Hustle!"

With that, Jonathan made a mental note to never watch movies with his mother- she had a tendency to get too excited.

Isabelle Lightwood stared at her best friend, who had his head buried in his hands. The gold locks intertwined in between his fingers proved that Jace was in the most true form of agony as he never let anyone touch his hair since he insisted that it was too precious. He literally wore gloves when he was styling it.

Isabelle swallowed a chunk of cold black currant ice cream, and reached out to tug at the sleeve of the pajamas Jace was wearing.

Honestly speaking, she would never have dreamed that the sleep over party she'd fantasized to have with her best friend would turn out any weirder. Jace had simply shown up looking agitated and she'd asked if he wanted to have their annual movie marathon a bit early. They were just having their ice cream break when Jace spilled.

"She doesn't tell me anything important. It feels like we have no bond."

Oh boy, here comes the sap talk.

At least she could fast forward it a bit by adding some fire to the awkward weed he'd become. So what if he burned, he'd just be glorious.

Wait, why was she comparing him to a weed?

"She's using you," Isabelle let out, with the same vigor she'd witnessed in the movies where the best friends are married off because the story wasn't going anywhere. Not that she wanted to marry the child who had peed on her bed multiple times when they were younger but this was simply the best tactic.

"No Kaelie's too..pure-"

Isabelle rolled her eyes discretely.

"-for that. Her life at home is horrible, she's earning up money to leave on her eighteenth birthday by working as a waitress at Taki's. C'mon Izzy, we both know that a girl like that wouldn't do that."

Time to bring out the big guns.

Her eyes turned cold and she retracted her hand, from his sleeve.

"Look at me."

Jace raised his head, his golden eyes blazing.

"You have to consider the possibilities. Your talking secret texts and hiding. She could be cheating on you for all you know."

"No."

She kept her gaze sternly fixated at the top of his head.

"Think about it."

"Izzy, she isn't that type of girl."

"Then what type of girl is she?"

"I don't know!"

Isabelle groaned and tugged at the messy bun that had taken her forever to pile on her head.

"Maybe you should cut this out."

She didn't look at him. Convincing him would be a lost cause.

"I'm worried about her."

Her eyes softened and she exhaled, "Maybe you don't need to know about every damned thing that goes about in her life."

Jace went quite for a moment. He stared at the striped pattern of her brother's old pajamas as if it were the most fascinating thing in the universe.

"I think she's being threatened." Isabelle rose swiftly, dropping her tub of ice cream onto his lap, ignoring his yelp of surprise.

"Dude-"

"What is going on here?"

Both of them started at Alec's quite, yet sharp voice.

Alec switched on the lights of their suburban home and wrinkled his nose at the smell of spilt nachos and melted ice cream.

Isabelle glanced at Jace, grew serious as he nodded his head. They both hated lying to Alec as he believed every single thing they said, and due to the mutual feelings of underlying guilt, Alexander Gideon Lightwood was never lied to.

So they told him, everything.

After an intense period of silence, Alec lifted his head dramatically and lowered his voice, "Magnus knows this girl-"

"Man, no offense but this is not a 'bitching on our exes party'," his sister informed him helpfully, with Jace nodding in agreement.

"Would you let me get to the point?"

Jace nodded again.

"So this girl, she helped Magnus with this prank on some guy and she's some tech wiz or something, because he said she managed to lock the fellow from his mac and get him to do stuff for them by sending him texts on his phone for a week- you know till they felt bad for him."

"We aren't forcing her into telling me," Jace confirmed.

"No we're not." Alec seemed to enjoy the suspense.

"Spit it out!"

"We're gonna get Clary Fairchild to find out what your girlfriend is hiding."

 **A/N : I'M BACK! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I hope this will be a great start for 2016! Tell me about your new year resolutions in your reviews ( I hope I'm not talking to myself coz I feel that way.)**


	4. Truth

The air felt thick and reeked of resentment. Her fingertips appeared eerie white, beneath the surface of the jagged plains of her coloured fingernails as they skimmed through the black keys of her Dell with an almost religious precision. Clary cracked her knuckles and bit her lip- this was turning out to be useless. The words in the screen were blurring and glaring back at her.

Her designated fake website would be enough to fish out most of Sebastian's precious secrets- he didn't even think twice before clicking on the 'offer' she'd sent him. Though the offer may have been fake, the details she had made compulsory to fill in for the 'administration' were most certainly not.

Clary ran a hand through her hair. While this maybe enough to get a common password and breach a few security questions on his social networking, she knew she wasn't going to get anywhere past surface details. Sebastian was very closed off.

A bottle of champagne sat on the counter to her right. Her mother wasn't a big fan of drinking and her brother was a complete lightweight, so its presence at their apartment didn't add up. It had probably been a gift from Magnus Bane's family, who were inexplicably fond of Jocelyn's art. She unscrewed the cork of the bottle with the rusty opener she'd found on the farthest crook of their supply cupboard. The opener let out a loud whine as she tugged at the cork, wincing at how she'd managed to spill miniature portions of the expensive drink on her mother' prized white rug.

After rubbing the stain with a dust cloth and smearing it over its scape, Clary groaned and replaced the sofa to cover her mess.

Her fingers grabbed at the neck of the bottle, slipping over its smoothened neck as she gripped the bottle and forced it down her lips. The liquid felt too strong and burned her tongue and she set back the bottle in frustration. Leaving the bottle and the mess she'd left behind as Jonathan's problem, she grabbed her shoulder bag and moved to leave their cluttered apartment.

Her brother had taken her mother out for a mother-son bonding dinner, in which he planned to muster out a good deal of self respect and some cash for a new Xbox. She pressed her palms against surface of the thick mahogany of the door and bolted it shut.

Her family would probably take a few hours to get home, given the fact that Jonathan always managed to get their mother to take him out for a movie. While a normal teenage boy would've been mortified by the very idea having to go around town with them, Jonathan had an unorthodox intimacy to Jocelyn and took pride in sustaining their relationship. To Clary's utter bewilderment, he even managed to make it look cool and gained disgustingly numerous multitudes of croons from her fellow classmates. One time, when some girl had told her that she was so _lucky_ to have such a sweet brother like Jonathan, looking after the women of the family- Clary had nearly socked her, though she'd been restrained by Simon, to her utter dismay.

The street appeared clustered with passengers, their paces rushed. Clary shoved herself past the crowd, her shoulders aching with every budge of contact. She wasn't going to get anything out of Sebastian by keeping her hands clean. Her hands skimmed through her contacts, stopping at her favourite party person. She wedged her phone between her shoulder and her ear, opening the disorganised contents of her bag whilst pushing past the whirlwind of people around her.

"Hey!"

Clary ran her lipstick across her upper lip, hoping that she wouldn't smear too much on her skin.

"Magnus? Is that you?"

"I'm sorry I'm his hotter cousin from the Kazakhstan. Oh wait, I haven't heard of any medical miracles yet-"

Clary rolled her eyes.

"I know, it isn't possible to find anyone more aesthetically pleasing than yourself Magnus. I understand, I truly do."

Magnus let out a dramatic wail, that would've scared the Dark Lord himself.

"I knew you would understand, biscuit! I knew you would!"

"Magnus?"

She reached for her scented lipgloss.

"Yeah?"

"You know how I helped you with.. you know who?"

"Yes, I still remember the day you had him beg at my magnificent feet, 'cause you locked his dad from some of his business shenanigans."

"Right, that." She paused. "You told me that I'd be welcome to any Magnus Bane party after that, so would you mind if I dropped by today?"

Magnus replied almost instantaneously.

"Of course. I wouldn't mind if you bring that handsome brother of yours, too. You know that?"

She choked on air, before grimacing.

"I didn't, but its not like I have a choice now, is it?"

"Cry me a river, you can live with that. Even you have to admit those cheekbones are-"

"I'm going to have to call you later-"

"The fraudulence of it all!"

"Bye, Magnus!"

Damn Jonathan's never ending line of fans.

Now all she would have to do was, drug Sebastian bad enough that he would finally spill. She unhooked the charm bracelet around her scarred wrist and replaced it with a tacky wrist band, spelling out the words "too lazy to think" in bold font.

Her nightmares were returning, she kept seeing the man with dark eyes and white hair, who haunted her dreams with his haunting resemblance to her brother. She kept seeing the man who could be her father; his smile; her mother's voice as she told him never to see them again; Jonathan's shoulder as it pressed onto her face, obstructing her view from what was was going on and her father mouthing the words that she could never recall or understand. She slept restlessly now, thrashing about and hurting herself in the process. She didn't want to see a therapist. She wanted answers and the plain, violent truth hit her face like a slap. She wanted her skin to thrum with the pain and know it was better than being kept away.

Jace Herondale shuffled in his sheets and buried his face in his pillow. He wanted sleep. He needed sleep,

Isabelle flipped on all the switches to his room and sat beside him.

"Wake up."

Jace pretended not to hear her.

"Christopher.."

Jace rolled onto his stomach and stilled his body, hoping she'd take a hint and assume that he wanted to sleep, like a normal person.

Isabelle stayed silent for a second.

Oh, but Izzy Lightwood was never normal.

She reached for his ear and caressed it under her fingertips, before yanking at it and yelling, "WAKE UP, YOU FREAKING SLOTH!"

Jace let out a groan and opened his eyes, frowning at the light that stung is eyes.

"God Isabelle! Why must you wake me at the crack of dawn?"

"It's eight. PM."

"Exactly."

Isabelle swung her legs over the edge of his bed.

"Do you or do you not want to know what's going on with that girlfriend of yours?"

Jace sat up, suddenly alert.

"What's that got to do with waking me up at ungodly hours?"

"Remember the tech kid Alec told us about?"

Jace fiddled with the ends his shirt.

"Yeah?"

"Well she's at Magnus's party and Magnus thinks you might just be able to get your shit done right."

He looked away and Isabelle knew he was contemplating over it.

"Just- Just give me a minute."

Isabelle walked away, her swagger diminished. With him the fights and tension that tormented Isabelle usually, had no effect on her. With him she didn't fight to maintain a distance- out of shock at how her parents relationship had turned out, at how they hid from the other's back like life was some damned conspiracy. He was her best friend, their friendship being where they understood, listened and silence wasn't awkward.

The rain poured on the pavement, loads thuds echoing through the luxurious halls of the Herondale Manor. Spying on Kaelie could turn out to be the greatest crack in their relationship. The worst way he could use her trust.

She told him everything and now he was going to pry over the most personal details of her life.

Kaelie didn't have to hide so much from him. Had he done something wrong? Had he seemed weird?

He didn't want to turn into the possessive type of guy that had the nerve to think that he deserved to know everything about everyone.

But the thing that had urged him, was that she hadn't looked guilty when she looked away and lied to his face, she looked terrified and then smiled at him as if she'd protected him from something dark. He didn't want to see her torment herself and think that allowing him to know her problems would make herself a burden. He'd had enough of watching her trash herself over and over again.

With a renewed spirit he changed out of his baggy sleeping clothes into his usual black jeans, that he oh so fashionably paired with a dark shirt and leather jacket.

He sashayed out of the room, mentally preparing himself for the worst. Who knew if this girl would even want to talk to him?

For all he knew, Clary Fairchild could think of him as a spineless dimwit.

"Ready, Jace?"

Isabelle had already finished doing her makeup. So much for pretending to give him a choice.

"Let's go get busy."

He was Jace, people didn't perceive him to be weak. That would be like going against the laws of nature.

 **A/N: HEY GUYS! It's my birthday so I felt like treating you guys- I know its a lousy celebration but *shrugs*. Anyway I'm sorry for not updating much lately, I have my GCE O/L this May and things have been hard. FYI I've been having a crappy birthday- not that it matters, why would anyone be narcissistic enough to celebrate the day they were born?**

 **Could you guys tell me about yourselves if you feel like reviewing?**

 **You don't have to .**

 **REVIEW, FAVOURITE OR FOLLOW, if you liked it.**


	5. Meeting

Beads of sweat formed on her brow and her shoulders shrunk timid against herself. The room felt congested and reeked of alcohol, pressing sharp against her nose and making her want to bang her head against a chainsaw. Clary Fairchild absolutely loathed parties. Dancing at them made her feel awkward and keenly aware of how heavy her limbs hung on her body. All the determination from before had faded into a sullen dread, and Clary couldn't help but feel pathetic as she pictured strangling Sebastian, over and over again, with a multitude of creativity. Why did she have to be so weak? Why couldn't she just dump him and let go? Why did she want to hurt him so badly?

Why was she so vulnerable to the silent jab that poked at her, every time he turned away? Why couldn't she just accept that she was never really enough?

Clary wanted revenge in a way that sent shivers down her spine. She was almost on the verge of blood-thirst.

Jace peered at the smaller girl beside him. Her eyebrows were furrowed, fingers gripping the woollen fabric of her blue sweater as she clenched her jaw and glared at the back of Sebastian Verlac's dark head. She seemed inexplicably angry over something.

Would it be a mistake to approach her? She turned away from him, moving further into the dense crowd of students between them.

A horde of bodies pressed against him as he tried to follow her. His heart pounded with determination and his mind cried of despair as she disappeared from his line of sight. He couldn't give up now. It taken him much persuasion to conjure the guts to know the truth. He knew he couldn't go through the awful process of self hate and insecurity all over again. Clary was his only chance in knowing what was truly going on.

She was darting through the halls now, her hair unbound and sticking to the sweat on her forehead. Her muscles burned and her eyes blurred as she ran aimlessly into the cold New York streets. The loud pop music blaring from Magnus's speakers rang in her ears and urged her further. Clary gritted her teeth, she'd been so stupid- thinking she could find out anything about her 'boyfriend'. The bastard was just too on guard to be oblivious to her. Knowing Sebastian, he might have even figured out that she knew what he was playing at. And yet she was still confused, there was something to the ordeal that hinted at the fact that there was more to it than wanting popularity. Sebastian was too much of a pragmatist to put so much effort into this. She took a shuddering breath, Sebastian wasn't entirely rotten. He'd always been kind and affectionate, despite his recent behaviour he wasn't entirely a bad guy. The guilt she'd seen on his face when he held her and the look of absolute determination that followed, he hadn't bore the look of someone who moralised his actions. Whatever he was doing, he'd prioritised it to be more important than her feelings and for that, she would get her revenge.

She bit back a gasp as her world tipped around her and her feet tumbled beneath her legs. Clary cursed colourfully as her shoelace caught beneath her left foot. She steadied herself, and yanked her shoelaces tight around herself. She wanted to think, and clear her head. She wanted to feel Sebastian's skin between the folds of her fingers.

She closed her eyes at the violent thought, and wondered what had happened to the sweet girl she'd once been.

"Hey!"

She whipped her gaze to the sound of a hoarse yell. A boy her age stood before her, his head bent over his body as he took in heavy breaths. Street light shone on the surreal gold hair falling over his face.

"I need a favour."

Clary raised her eyebrows skeptically, "And I'll help you because?"

"You have to help me!" The boy levelled his gaze to hers and she bit back a cynical retort as she realised that he was Jace Herondale.

The intensity he held took her by surprise, but she kept her face expression blank as she stared unto his.

"I need you to spy on Kaelie Whitewillow for me."

She took a step forwards and scowled.

"You want me to spy on your girlfriend."

Jace ran his hands through his hair, "Can you?"

"Why?"'

"It's a long story."

"She fell into step beside him.

"I have all the time in the world."

She grabbed his arm and led him through winding streets, sprinting past flashing lights and darting figures. He followed, having to usher her away from speeding cars at various occasions. Though she managed to make swift turns and swivels at an almost methodical manner. The way she blended with the hustle of the streets, that ferocity to get going, caught him off guard. She was definitely not the quite girl she was used to seeing at school.

It took him a moment to realise that she was leading them to Central Park. After a period of cursing and yelling at kids to get lost, Clary finally found a spot she liked.

"Now spill Herondale."

So he told her everything, leaving no filter between them. She looked beyond exasperated throughout his storytelling session, so he was surprised when she turned to him seriously.

"I will help you, undignified loser-"

"Hey!" He glared anther despite his innermost feeling of graciousness.

"I acknowledge your presence," she drawled. "Anyway, I will help you- as long as you do me a little favour too."

 **A/N: Hi guys! I hope you like this chapter- it took three attempts to get it right. I'm sorry its short, but I wanted the Clace meeting to be a stand alone event, in this story. So.. yeah. I noticed I never posted a disclaimer so: I DO NOT OWN THE SHADOWHUNTER CHRONICLES, I'M NOT BADASS ENOUGH TO OWN IT. (THOUGH CASSIE CLARE IS!)**

 **Plus you can catch me on tumblr under the username 'nonofyourbeeswax' , which I wanted to use for FF but I'd made an account and forgotten all details to it so I wasn't able to actually use it. You can find me on 8tracks under the same username that I have here (the same tragic story applies there too). WHO'S EXCITED FOR LADY MIDNIGHT? Let's talk about itin the reviews- if you post any.**

 **Review, follow or favourite if it wasn't as bad as I thought.**


	6. Knowing

Clary Fairchild stood amidst the morning haze, with her fingers pressed on a boy's shoulders. He was shaking his head, eyes wide and amber, stepping away from her as she grew more murderous. Their deal had been for him to talk to Sebastian and grow close to him, he had to be her spy. She was acting paranoid, obsessed. There was something going on that she didn't know about and she was standing on her toes, waiting, hoping and dreaming that she would finally get a clue.

Clary glared up at Jace, "You didn't even talk to him!"

"He makes me nervous." Jace switched his gaze onto Simon, who was currently texting someone- probably Isabelle, since he was grinning at his phone and blushing. On a second thought it could be Raphael, they both had a similar effect on him, terrifying him to a stammering mess.

Clary rolled her eyes at him and peered at the crowd of students making their way to St. Xavier's.

She pulled the neck of her sweater up to her chin and let her feet fold beneath her. The early sun made her hair burn scarlet, made her look smaller. Jace realised with growing dismay that this tyrannical mind that he'd befriended looked rather innocent in right light, even edging on adorable.

"Jace?"

She was now fiddling with her sleeves, thin lines flashing at her wrists. What did they mean? Clary was not the type of person who looked like she'd cut herself- in fact she looked like the type to cut everyone else over her grim feelings. Maybe, he pondered, the happiest of us are those who truly hate ourselves to the core.

He sat down next to her, "Yeah?"

"Kaelie intimidates me." But, Jace could see past the innocent facade, she was forcing her features to look like that- Clary never allowed herself to be seen vulnerable, unless she wanted to.

"Uh-huh."

"You don't believe me."

It was back, the icy glare and ever clenched jaw.

"Kaelie is really harmless and non-viol-"

"Dude!" Simon started, moving to sit with them on their awkward spot on the school entrance- they must look like druggies he mused to himself. He ruffled Clary's hair- making her push his hand away-, before moving to pat Jace on the shoulder, who's face reflected his pure wholehearted awe at the gesture.

Clary looked at Simon, who blinked back at her. Together they fell into a fi of laughter.

"Sorry," she said between loud obnoxious laughter.

"I'm just allergic to bullshit." Simon had his head buried in Jace's lap, his glasses sliding off his nose.

Jace ran his fingers through his hair, "Kaelie makes you nervous and then what?" He came off skeptical, making them laugh even harder.

"I'm thinking about telling her what an awful scumbag you are, spying on her and whatnot." The answer came moments later, light toned, but Clary knew that her statement was a threat. It was wrong to threaten Jace, but she didn't need him to be her friend- she wanted to end Sebastian Verlac and know the truth behind the mere clues he showed her.

Jace stood up swiftly, checking to see if anyone had heard her.

He took a haggard breath.

"I'll talk to him."

Clary bent down from her place, at the top of the school entrance, and pinched his cheek.

"There's a good boy!"

Simon, looked over his shoulder at the students gathering before them. He thought about how they appeared to be a happy trio but in truth they were a pair cornering another into a corner. He thought about the Clary he'd known before, the girl who'd been so real, so far away from relationship drama. He remembered the smile behind the girl who'd been entirely light despite the night terrors that made her claw herself in her sleep, despite the ever present anxiety about her father. Clary was still with him, though he feared the darkness, that had grown to be her companion, would consume her whole.

* * *

Seelie Whitewillow, rushed out into the dusty streets, her red hair- so apart from the rest of the family- flailing behind her. Camille stomped her way past the growing traffic. In knee high brown boots and a pretty blue knit dress, she looked separate from the dust and clutter around her. Her golden hair gleamed under the streetlights, that shone despite the fact that it was dawn- rusty and old, again worlds away from Camille Belcourt. Seelie was the impostor here, the scum, the kid who'd been adopted by the wealthy Whitewillows when they had still bore their fame. They were working for true purpose, Seelie realised a worthy cause.

"Kaelie's boyfriend's growing a bit curious."

Camille glanced at her phone, her face breaking into a frown at the minor disruption.

"That would complicate things," she murmured bitterly.

"He met up with Clary Fairchild."

"Fuck."

"What are we going to do?"

As a child she had known pain like a brother. Camille knew that it was tears you didn't know you were shedding that hurt the most. She knew that the person who made you happy- without you even realising- would make you hurt the most when they stab a whole through your heart.

"We're going to have to break them up, we are going to make him want to kill her."

 **(A/N: Hi guys! It's been so long and I DESERVE YOU'RE HATE. But, c'mon the gce o levels are tough and they're in a month- so wish me luck (*closes eyes and prays*). I probably have to tell you that I won't be on much till June, 'coz I'm really busy these days. i'm guilty to say that there's only going to be bad news in this authors note ( think the next bombshell is pretty good if you think about it though). I'm deleting 'perks of being Jace', because my writing is really bad on that one. I have plans on developing its plot further working after working into it, so don't worry (or be too thrilled). Bye for now guys + WISH ME LUCK!)**


	7. Familiar

Seelie Whitewillow chewed on her burger, tomato sauce squirting down her lips in pulses of deep red. Her cheeks were wet and her hands wouldn't stop quivering, she was wrong, she was evil, she was despicable. The worst thing was that she knew it and did nothing to change it. She swallowed the burger in large gulp and knew she'd be grabbing another in a matter of minutes- and then it would only be water tomorrow, she promised herself. Seelie stood and made her way to her sister's dresser.

Half sister.

Half sister.

Half sister.

She didn't have to love Kaelie, it was okay that she was being cruel to her. Cruelty was something you can't control; if you were born cruel any ounce of kindness you dared to show would always be a meagre lie.

Her hands skimmed Kaelie's backpack with a hasty precision, searching for homework assignments that she'd have to turn in immediately. She worked methodically, her fingers skimming through the expanse of loose papers with a familiar rhythm. She tore through the paper, rage coming over in angry spurts. Kaelie wasn't leaving, not like Meliorn had. Was Seelie that repulsive that Kaelie would leave her- willingly- after everything.

Sebastian and Camille had loved Meliorn, they wanted revenge from Jonathan. They went with Seelie's plans of tormenting Kaelie, only in exchange for Meliorn's things- scraps of him that they could hold onto. Seelie knew that they thought of her to be a freak, everyone did. She remembered her siblings staring at her, passing silent glances between each other.

She was always the freak. Kaelie couldn't leave her, a repulsive freak, to be there father's punching bag. No, she wouldn't allow it.

* * *

Clary had her head pressed on the nook of his shoulder, her eyes closed as she listened to his heart beat. Books always described heart beats to be comforting in their familiarity, but to Clary they were a reminder- your life is finite, there's a machine in your chest pumping your existence in pulses, you are vulnerable, you are weak, there is nothing great about the human existence.

Simon ran his fingers through her hair, massaging her scalp.

They were staring at Simon's television screen, their Dungeons and Dragons going marathon long forgotten- he'd been losing anyway.

"Someone's threatening Kaelie. Someone being her sister?"

His voiced had rose in pitch, eyebrows furrowing in question.

"And it's been going on for a while now. Kaelie hasn't told Jace anything- I don't know how to break this to him, it would be like I'm invading Kaelie's privacy."

This thoughtful version of herself comforted Simon. It varied vastly from the angry, vengeful girl he'd known for the past two weeks, but it felt familiar and that was what mattered. She was still Clary. Most people knew change and hated it, because it tore them away from the known and built it into another version of normality. Change reminded us that we were not the only ones in charge of our lives. Simon knew that change was what people feared the most in this great big world, where anyone could influence another.

"Are you going to tell him."

Clary stared at him, focused, purposeful.

"Yes. It could ruin their relationship and Kaelie's relationship with her only sibling, but I made a promise Si, I do not break promises. How the truth would affect them is beyond me."

"I'm not going to tell you it's all going to be all right, we're heading for a whirlwind of disaster."

Clary turned to level her gaze with his. "There's something bigger going on, I know it. All the messages don't add up. There's something hazy about all this."

Meliorn Whitewillow's death had been a phenomena- her memories of the time all felt muddy and out of proportion. There was something dark going on, something she didn't know that was ruling all of their lives.

 **(A/N: MY EXAMS ARE FINALLY OVER! SO HERE'S YOUR UPDATE. I'LL BE POSTING AS FREQUENTLY AS I HAD BEFORE NOW THAT TIME FOR WRITING IN MY SCHEDULE. I KNOW THIS CHAPTER IS SHORTER THAN MY USUAL STYLE, THERE'S GOING TO BE A WHOLE BUNCH OF CONFUSING SHIT COMING SO I'M TAKING IT DOWN METHODICALLY, YOU KNOW IN BABY STEPS. REVIEW, FOLLOW AND FAVOURITE IF YOU LIKED IT**

 **PEACE OUT- NUZ :])**


	8. Forgiving

She was at home, but she wasn't- not really. The air felt too thick; her brother looked like himself, but felt decades older. Clary hated it. Her throat was dry and her chapped lips yearned for moisture. There was a dull buzz filling her ears, she was slipping, she was suspended in a vortex of lies.

Jonathan smiled at her, the freckles across his nose suddenly evident- they were still siblings.

"Where's Dad?"

His face faded, a dark shadow swallowing it. He smiled again, eyebrows creased.

"He had a business trip." His voice sounded hoarse, like his innards had been rubbed with sandpaper. "Let's get you upstairs."

Clary focussed on the way he moved- unsteady completely unlike her brother, who carried himself with a fluid grace.

Something was going on.

She couldn't remember where she'd been before this scenario with her brother, her mind went black with every effort of remembering.

Her mother appeared on her left. Clary inhaled sharply- she hadn't heard her come in.

"Go upstairs honey, get some rest."

She walked up to her room, her heart pounding loud against her chest, threatening to force itself out of her thorax.

She brought her knees to her chest. Her world tilted around her, memories splurged around her, thoughts exploded under her eyelids.

 _She was holding her father's hand, so big that it engulfed hers completely. She squinted up at him, his eyes were bright._

 _"Are you okay?"_

 _Her voice came out tentative._

 _He kneeled down, their faces aligned. There were tears building up underneath his eyelashes._

 _"I am not. I will always be Valentine Morgenstern and you, my child, will always be Clarissa Adele Morgenstern. People will tell you otherwise but there is no such thing as 'okay'. People waste so much time looking for 'okay' that they forget that they will always be who they are."_

 _He kissed her forehead, eyes tender._

 _"That is how we find perfection. By accepting ourselves."_

Clary pressed her head between her feet. What was happening to her?

 _"My little girl." Her father was holding her up towards the sky, her hands were reaching out towards the endless sky._

 _"Don't grow up too fast, I'll be lonely when you leave me behind." An emerald dress bellowed from underneath her, her cheeks ached from smiling so hard._

Clary stuffed the red fabric of her sweater into her mouth, muffling agonising screams.

 _"I will always be with you. We Morgensterns-" Her father paused to look at her, he'd always been a good storyteller, "-we are tied by our blood."_

Suddenly she was standing up, her hands bunched into her pockets. She was running, stumbling down the staircase. Someone was shaking her.

Jonathan stared as Clary came back to life, her eyes darkening with alert.

"What am I doing here?"

Her brother's arms came around her, enveloping her in comfort.

"You were sleepwalking. If I hadn't heard you stumble across my new speakers, you would have fallen off the staircase."

He was patting her now, gentle nudges that pushed her into reality.

This had happened to her before. When her dreams got so surreal that she didn't realise that she'd woken up. It was not until she was alerted by someone that she could breathe evenly, with the knowledge that reality was a kinder sibling to her nightmares. She usually preferred it when her brother woke her up, because she usually ended up slinking back into unconsciousness somewhere, her dream taking over her in a second, more powerful attack.

"What was it about?" Jonathan smoothened her hair, his voice calm, relaxed and so like himself. He hadn't dissolved into someone else. It had just been a dream.

"It was a memory, somewhere around last year- I think. It just felt hazy."

Jonathan stiffened beside her.

"It's starting again, isn't it?"

It always came like this, obsessive episodes, insomnia, sleepwalking- times when her brain sunk too far in itself that she lost track of what was happening around her.

Her brother dipped his head towards the haggard scar on her wrist, his fingers tracing it gently.

"Did you get this in your sleep?"

"I think so."

She pressed her face to his chest.

"Tell me about what happened to Dad. Please Jonathan, I want to know the truth."

* * *

Jace had his fingers pressed to his forehead, the gold in his hair leaking into the sky that blazed orange.

Kaelie sat beside him, her lips quivering. They were inches apart, but she could hear the frantic beat of his heart, feel the beads of sweat trickling down his chin.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

His voice had betrayal mingled into it and a hint of worry that she didn't notice.

"You are not my keeper," she said, shaking with fury. "I get to do things you do not have to know about. You can never pry every minimal detail out of my life. It is mine."

She had her hands on the side of his face- still shaking, she brought her face close to his, his betrayal a sting at her heart.

"Jace, if I could tell you every bloody thing- I would. But, then you will know _me_ for who I really am."

Jace stared at her, eyes crinkling in defeat.

Would that really be so bad?

Kaelie watched as his gold halo faded into what he truly was, an ordinary teenager just like her.

"I am so sorry, Kaelie. So profoundly ashamed of myself. I was just so worried- you always looked so hurt-"

"The thing is, I am hurt." She was a cracked vase. She was thousand broken pieces and she was proud of who she was. It's how she kept all of herself together that she despised."You were my beautiful lie, Jace Herondale. Every sad memory, I forgot when I was with you. I used you to get away from my life, since I thought you were the only thing I could control."

So he was just another toy then, something she had a hold of so she could convince herself that her life wasn't as miserable as she thought it was.

"Kaelie, do you want to break up with me?" It was the question, as sudden as it was, that both of them had been waiting for.

"I didn't trust you enough to tell you anything, and you- you went behind my back and pried into my personal life. Yes, I think we should break up."

With that his lips were on hers. Her cheeks were wet against his, he tasted salt and cherry chap-stick. She had her fingers woven into his hair; his hands traced the tears running down her cheeks.

"I am so sorry," she said to his lips, shuddering with feeling.

"It's alright. Hurt me. Break me." He whispered, breaking, shattering.

 **(A/N: HEY GUYS! STAY TUNED- IS THAT THE TERM?- FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER, SHIT'S GOING TO GET REAL. FAVOURITE, FOLLOW AND REVIEW IF YOU LIKED IT.**

 **PEACE OUT, NUZ)**


	9. Black Hole in Reverse

The sun had set, blowing hues of red and gold on the Morgenstern children, as they held hands while the ugly truth unraveled. Tears glistened as they flowed down Clary's cheek, collecting at her chin. Jonathan had his face hung limp into his knees.

Clary's fingers clawed into her thighs. Her father had been a psychopath- a murderer. And she couldn't remember. She was insane too.

They stared downwards, at the floor, at their feet, it didn't matter- they glanced away from each other too ashamed to remember, to admit.

" _I can't. Not after so long. I'm sorry Clary."_

 _Her mind recoiled in fury, her sight blurred and whizzed into red, angry scorching red. It burnt into her eyelids and traced kisses on her brain as she lunged at Jonathan, no more a bundle of bones and skin but live embodied fury, thrashing and pushing with unrestrained strength. He'd taken the punches. When it was over and she was panting, sweat drizzling down her forehead, angry tears collecting underneath her eyelids, he put his arms around her. She clawed at his shoulder, sobbing 'Tell me'._

" _I am sorry, but I don't want another person hating me. You're my sister, I can't lose you too."_

" _That's up to me. I want to know the truth, Jonathan, I deserve to know too, you know."_

 _Jonathan stared ahead, the veins in his throat showing under the afternoon sun- looking oddly vulnerable to her._

" _Tell me about Pa," she pleaded, surprising herself by calling him 'Pa'. Did she use to call him that?_

 _Jonathan did not reply for a long time then, till he did and the world she'd known shattered around her._

" _He killed a kid, Clary- a kid, someone our age. It's just, just so sick to think he would. Remember Meliorn Whitewillow?"_

 _The name had opened a tirade of memories in heart. Opened a black treasure box till her whole body was overflowing with unrestricted truth._

" _Kaelie's brother?"_

" _Yep. Well he was travelling in this car with his girlfriend, Celesta Verlac- Seb's sister-"_

 _Sebastian wore a black suit. The sun shined on the black, on his face, yellowing his tears._

 _Clary braced her fingers into her hair._

" _\- they were with Kaelie, I think, when it happened. They thought it would be funny to trespass into our Villa- the one we give away for rent. Dad got to know somehow and showed up before they did. He was mad angry, and he shot them - Meliorn and Celesta. Shot them, like it was some slaughterhouse for the bad. He hadn't seen Kaelie, she'd crouched low in the back seat- thank god, another one spared. Our neighbours got the cops. Dad suddenly blacked out and- and I don't know how, but he turned into Pa again. He was crying, good lord he was crying so loud- it was horrible. You were behind me. You had put your head on my shoulder. You were shaking. I just thought you were scared. Turns out you were traumatised. A few days later you started having hallucinations, then nightmares- mom was so freaked out she sent you to a three month long PTSD course at some hospital. I thought you'd come back okay, happy. But when you returned you were like this robot, you didn't even listen to music anymore- just staring into space like you weren't here anymore. You had blackouts for days, when you'd eat and drink but couldn't hear or see us. Mom got this lady, Ragnor Fell- a relation of Magnus Bane' s- to talk to you weekly. Turns out things weren't that great at the hospital. You- you - I can't"_

 _He began crying, silent sobs, but she couldn't hear anymore. Ah, the memories. Black holes in reverse, lost time being thrown at her. She'd gone crazy, unstable. Nothing of her father came to her, that part remained a pencil drawing, a story told that she believed but didn't understand. She only remembered white rooms, fake cheery faces, hands slipping under her shirt and screaming as those hands remained there. Feeling like alien to the world._

" _Tell me more, tell me what happened after- Jonathan, please."_

" _You got better. The first time you talked to me again, it took ever ounce of me not to shriek and laugh and hug you. Mom kept the rules simple, we don't mention anything to you- you've faced enough. We used the last of Dad's wealth to keep the press quite. All that anyone knew was that they'd all gotten into a car accident. They had to reposition everything, the bodies, the car, to make it look believable. Of course, some people knew the truth, some still do."_

* * *

Kaelie Whitewillow stared at her step-sister. She had barged into the room a moment ago, burning with fury. Seelie sat on her bed, her books and papers scattered around the pale pink sheets.

Kaelie had once felt confident, but now she was only broken.

"Why?" Her voice cracked and rolled off her tongue.

"Why what?" Seelie sounded shocked. They hadn't had a conversation together in ages. A tremor shook through the room.

"Cut the act. Y-You sent those messages, didn't you." Her knees felt weak, her face broke.

"Kael-"

Kaelie levelled her face with her sister's, like they'd done when they were young- Whitewillow sisters, with their pink lips and flawless skin, no matter that Seelie was adopted.

"Mel loved you the most. You told him to go to that stupid mansion. And you are the one making escape plans, getting sweet boyfriends _, getting out of this hell hole."_

She yelled these last words, till Kaelie flinched. Again and again till the guilt rose up her spine. No one from her family had ever bothered to talk to Seelie since Meliorn died.

"I know that," she whispered ,"I just wanted to forget I was in the car, you know."

"And you left me alone. All of you, you just forgot."

A thousand punches a day would feel better than being ignored after a year of chaos. Seelie sat on the rug beside her sister, ashamed, unsmiling.

"I'm not proud of what I did, I just wanted you to stay- stay with me." Seelie broke down crying and Kaelie knew it would take her a long time to forgive her, but eventually she would. For now they just sat beside each other on Seelie torn winter rug, the cold biting into their toes.

 **[A\N: HEY GUYS! IT'S BEEN A HELLA LONG TIME. IT'S THE BIG REVEAL- FINALLY. I didn't want it to be too juicy, too much for youth process in an update coming up many months too late- there's more twists coming, stay tuned. this story is coming to an end, it feels horrible saying good bye- but i want to say it right, so cross your fingers. My halloween gift to you!**

 **FOLLOW, REVIEW AND FAVOURITE IF YOU LIKED IT]**


	10. Redemptive Decisions

The sun had set, blowing hues of red and gold on the Morgenstern children, as they held hands while the ugly truth unraveled. Tears glistened as they flowed down Clary's cheek, collecting at her chin. Jonathan had his face hung limp into his knees.

Clary's fingers clawed into her thighs. Her father had been a psychopath- a murderer. And she couldn't remember. She was too insane to.

They stared downwards, at the floor, at their feet it didn't matter- too ashamed to remember, to admit.

" _I can't. Not after so long. I'm sorry Clary."_

 _Her mind recoiled in fury, her sight blurred and whizzed into red, angry scorching red. It burnt into her eyelids and traced kisses on her brain as she lunged at Jonathan, no more a bundle of bones and skin but live embodied fury, thrashing and pushing with unrestrained strength. He'd taken the punches. When it was over and she was panting, sweat drizzling down her forehead, angry tears collecting underneath her eyelids, he put his arms around her. She clawed at his shoulder, sobbing 'Tell me'._

" _I am sorry, but I don't want another person hating me. You're my sister, I can't lose you too."_

" _That's up to me. I want to know the truth, Jonathan, I deserve to know too, you know."_

 _Jonathan stared ahead, the veins in his throat showing under the afternoon sun- looking oddly vulnerable to her._

" _Tell me about Pa," she pleaded, surprising herself by calling him 'Pa'. Did she use to call him that?_

 _Jonathan did not reply for a long time then, till he did and the world she'd known shattered around her._

" _He killed a kid, Clary- a kid, someone our age. It's just, just so sick to think he would. Remember Meliorn Whitewillow?"_

 _The name had opened a tirade of memories in heart. Opened a black treasure box till her whole body was overflowing with unrestricted truth._

" _Kaelie's brother?"_

" _Yep. Well he was travelling in this car with his girlfriend, Celesta Verlac- Seb's sister-"_

 _Sebastian wore a black suit. The sun shined on the black, on his face, yellowing his tears._

 _Clary braced her fingers into her hair._

" _\- they were with Kaelie, I think, when it happened. They thought it would be funny to trespass into our Villa- the one we give away for rent. Dad got to know somehow and showed up before they did. He was mad angry, and he shot them - Meliorn and Celesta. Shot them, like this is some slaughterhouse. He hadn't seen Kaelie, she'd crouched low in the back seat- thank god, another one spared. Our neighbours got the cops. Dad suddenly blacked out and- and I don't know how, but he turned into Pa again. He was crying, good lord he was crying so loud- to was horrible. You were behind me. You had put your head on my shoulder. You were shaking. I just thought you were scared. Turns out you were traumatised. A few days later you started having hallucinations, then nightmares- mom was so freaked out she sent you to a three month long PTSD course at some hospital. I thought you'd come back okay, happy. But when you returned you were like this robot, you didn't even listen to music anymore- just staring into space like you weren't here anymore. You had blackouts for days, when you'd eat and drink but couldn't hear or see us. Mom got this lady, Ragnor Fell- a relation of Magnus Bane' s- to talk to you weekly. Turns out things weren't that great at the hospital. You- you - I can't"_

 _He began crying, silent sobs, but she couldn't hear anymore. Ah, the memories. Black holes in reverse, lost time being thrown at her. She'd gone crazy, unstable. Nothing of her father came to her, that part remained a pencil drawing, a story told that she believed but didn't understand. She only remembered white rooms, fake cheery faces, hands slipping under her shirt and screaming as those hands remained there. Feeling like alien to the world._

" _Tell me more, tell me what happened after- Jonathan, please."_

" _You got better. The first time you talked to me again, it took ever ounce of me not to shriek and laugh and hug you. Mom kept the rules simple, we don't mention anything to you- you've faced enough. We used the last of Dad's wealth to keep the press quite. All that anyone knew was that they'd all gotten into a car accident. They had to reposition everything, the bodies, the car, to make it look believable. Of course, some people knew the truth, some still do."_

Kaelie Whitewillow stared at her step-sister. She had barged into the room a moment ago, burning with fury. Seelie sat on her bed, her books and papers scattered around the pale pink sheets.

Kaelie had once felt confident, but now she was only broken.

"Why?" Her voice cracked and rolled off her tongue.

"Why what?" Seelie sounded shocked. They hadn't had a conversation together in ages. A tremor shook through the room.

"Cut the act. Y-You sent those messages, didn't you." Her knees felt weak, her face broke.

"Kael-"

Kaelie levelled her face with her sister's, like they'd done when they were young- Whitewillow sisters, with their pink lips and flawless skin, no matter that Seelie was adopted.

"Mel loved you the most. You told him to go to that stupid mansion. And you are the one making escape plans, getting sweet boyfriends _, getting out of this hell hole."_

She yelled these last words, till Kaelie flinched. Again and again till the guilt rose up her spine. No one from her family had ever bothered to talk to Seelie since Meliorn died.

"I know that," she whispered ,"I just wanted to forget I was in the car, you know."

"And you left me alone. All of you, you just forgot."

A thousand punches a day would feel better than being ignored after a year of chaos. Seelie sat on the rug beside her sister, ashamed, unsmiling.

"I'm not proud of what I did, I just wanted you to stay- stay with me." Seelie broke down crying and Kaelie knew it would take her a long time to forgive her, but eventually she would. For now they just sat beside each other on Seelie torn winter rug, the cold biting into their toes.


End file.
